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Stop your relationship rut: 3 simple steps to a fresh start this Valentine's Day

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Updated: 1/29/2013 1:10 pm

(BPT) - Feeling like you're in a relationship rut? You're not alone. Whether you're single or married, getting stuck in a routine may be normal, but that's no excuse to keep on down the same path. Take control of your love life and break out of your relationship habits. Relationship expert and author of 'Cheat On Your Husband With Your Husband,' Andrea Syrtash, shares three simple steps to help you identify your patterns, make small changes and ultimately decide if this is the right relationship for you.

* Identify the patterns.

If you want new results in love, you have to do things - and date - differently. Once you've identified your habits, it will be much easier to steer clear of any ruts.

The first step is to look at your pattern. If you don't know what your relationship pattern is, consider this: If your dating life were a movie - what would it be called? How would it begin and end? What character do you always play? You'll start to see some themes.

We all get into patterns in our relationships and often expect things to get better without changing our ways. It's like using the same search engine day in and day out and expecting better results. We do things because we've always done them; but as Einstein said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Branch out and give Bing a try this Valentine's Day to see if it's your perfect match.

* Make small changes.

With step one under your belt, it's time to take action. Advanced Valentine's Day planning can go a long way in showing your love and affection. Not putting in the thought to pre-plan, forgetting the card, buying drugstore gifts on the way home from work, and thinking that Valentine's Day doesn't matter (if it doesn't matter to both of you that's one thing ... but if it matters to one of you, it should be acknowledged) puts a strain on your relationship, whether or not you realize it at the time.

Planning ahead seems like a daunting task, but it is easier than you think. Take it one step at a time, and lean on the various online resources available that make planning simple. Use Bing to get ahead this Valentine's Day to quickly find flowers, book dinner reservations and buy tickets for a romantic movie all in one place.

* Move forward.

A surprising one in 10 people admit to having broken up with someone on Valentine's Day, according to a recent survey by Bing and Impulse. If making a few small adjustments isn't changing your relationship patterns, give some thought to if you're in a healthy relationship or if it's time to break it off. Don't just think about the person you're with, think about the person you are when you're with your significant other. That will tell you everything you need to know. If you're usually cool and you're crazy or insecure with someone, they're not your match. You deserve to be happy, and if that means it's time for a change, than embrace it.

Trying something new may lead you to a better alternative you never knew existed. Use this Valentine's Day as an opportunity to start fresh. Whether you are working on making the small changes that matter, or deciding to part ways, don't let your relationship continue along in the same rut. There's no better time than the present.

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