For one Rensselaer County mom watching the statewide news on Saturday night was like reliving her own personal nightmare from eight years ago.
Martha Lasher-Warner lost her daughter Liza to domestic violence after she was shot and killed by her husband back in 2004.
And when she turned on the T.V. this past weekend, she felt that pain all over again.
"I heard the news, and it just triggered a wealth of emotions for me. Mostly for her family, even though I don't know anything about them, or anything about her," Lasher-Warner said.
The still mourning mom is talking about an 18-year-old SUNY Brockport student named Alexandra Kogut.
It was just before three a.m. on Saturday when Kogut, a New Hartford, New York native, was found beaten to death in her college dorm.
Within an hour her boyfriend, 21-year-old Clayton Whittemore was arrested for her murder.
Whittemore later plead not guilty.
So when East Greenbush mom Martha Lasher-Warner saw that story on the news, a flurry of devastating memories came rushing back.
"I think that, more than likely, it was difficult for me, because it was not only the 8th anniversary of Liza's murder, but then hearing about that student from Brockport was murdered by her boyfriend on Saturday. And how horrific that the people who found her, and that her parents have to live through this again, right at the beginning of Domestic Violence Awareness Month," Lasher-Warner said.
A born mom and caregiver, Martha instantly took action.
"I have written a letter to Alexandra's family, care of the funeral home where she's being buried from, letting them know that I've walked in their shoes. I would be more than happy to speak to them, to comfort them in any way I can," she said.
The doting mother says she'll send the letter after the Kogut family lays Alexandra to rest.
"It was done for me after Liza's murder. I receive letters from parents who have lost children through homicide, and it helped me. And I did reach out, and I'm really hoping that they will reach out to me," she said.
But in the meantime, Martha continues teaching local students about the signs of abuse her family missed.
"I want people to know it's not just black eyes, broken bones, hits and slaps or being held hostage in their own homes. I want them to know that it can be subtle, like Liza's (signs) were subtle. There were things that she had to do when he decided that they had to be done. She couldn't go to an Italian restaurant with him because he didn't like Italian food, for example. To us at the time they were small things, minor things. He was antisocial. And since Liza's murder, we have learned that all of those things that he did are signs of abuse and control," she said.
And if you'd like to support anti-domestic violence programs, and services for victims, clear your schedule for the afternoon of Sunday, October 21st.
The 'Family and Friends of Liza Ellen Warner" are hosting a fashion show luncheon and fundraiser called 'On the Runway' at Michael's Banquet House in Latham at 1 p.m.
The price to attend is $50 dollars a plate.
At the event you'll see fall and winter fashions, costumes and holiday wear.
Purple is the color for Domestic Violence Awareness month, and there will a hair stylist at Michael's who will attach a purple hair extension to your 'do' for a small donation.
All of the proceeds from the 'On The Runway' Fashion Show will benefit the Family and Friends of Liza Ellen Warner, and the Unity House of Troy.
"Unity House is a Rensselaer County organization that assists and aids domestic violence survivors who need legal representation, whether they have children, custody issues, divorce issues and on and on. The Unity House also has a brand new shelter that's fully staffed, a thirty three bed shelter. They help tremendously with victims and survivors of domestic violence in Rensselaer County," Lasher-Warner said.
